My husband says I'm secretly a hoarder. Not in the A&E series kind of way. You wouldn't walk into my house and gasp in disgust at old wrappers littering my kitchen floor or nothing. It's not THAT bad. I keep things very organized, if you call stuffing stacks of old magazines, greeting cards, and notes scribbled onto random pieces of paper into various reusable totes and neatly tucking them away. Controlled messiness is what I like to call it. It has a home; hidden in a drawer, a cabinet, a closet, waiting on a rainy day for me to plug in my earphones, play some tunes, and sift through it all. I vowed that in this moment I was going to throw it all away.
As I begin to shuffle through the chaos that was stored underneath the desk I shake my head and laugh at myself for the things I decided to cram in a bag and shove out of sight. Why do I need an old phone charger? Will I downgrade to an iPhone 4 once my 5c stops working? Nope. Charger to the trash. As I continue to dig I find old thank you cards from friends and former employees. I read, smile, and send a few texts because I haven't talked to him or her in a while. I don't let them know the card they wrote two years ago just got swallowed up in a sea of shredded paper. Junk mail of catalog re-subscriptions, conference call notes, how-to make candles guides, and much more all found their way to the expanding GLAD trash bag. Honestly, that's really the most of the clutter; PAPER.
Anyway, I'm feeling like it's time for a break, then one of my favorite things happens when I attack months worth of old mail and such; an old photo that got tucked away appears amongst the clutter. Staring up at me is a sweet golden smile; Jack frozen in time. THAT did not go in the trash bag. I sit back and there are no tears, although the loss of him is still so fresh. There's just a realization that I hang onto this stuff for moments like these. A chance to be swept back in time to a joyful moment in my life when I come across an old photograph or a letter from a friend. On the other hand, I also realized that it would probably behoove me to perhaps do some scrapbooking, buy a photo album, create a keepsake box of some sort, instead of letting beautiful pictures get lost amongst my junk mail. Who has time for scrapbooking though? And, photo albums; do people still put those on their coffee tables? Scrap the keepsake box because more than likely it would be just another junk box.
Here's a better idea. I'll toss the junk mail immediately, shred the confidential stuff, and keep my work notes at work. As for the pictures, well that's where the digital organization comes in. With this blog I think I'm heading in the right direction. You see, I already have a years worth of documented accounts with Jack. Candid moments with him and some not-so candid when I made him stay until I captured the image I needed. It was as if the powers that be knew our loving companion did not have much time. However, I never would have imagined that when I started this blog we'd lose Jack in a year. Boy am I glad I began this journey. It was a fun ride and has helped my husband and me face the loss with more laughter than sorrow. This blog is a vivid reminder of the life shared with a dog who taught us patience, shaped our outlook on life, and most recently showed us the art of letting go.
I mentioned in a few posts back how I wanted to share stories of friends and their furry sidekicks. Well, I do intend to do that. I'm going to get some things organized first and create a functioning office space for me to collect stories and pictures and upload them here on this blog. You know, carry on the spirit of Jack through stories of others. I hope you'll continue with me on this journey and patiently wait for me to begin phase II of this site.
Before I go I just want to thank you all who sent me messages or left a comment on this blog. I know there was a big jump from the Jack and Winston story to the post about his passing. It was such a busy time in my life working retail holidays, and it happened so quickly that I had no time to sit and write about it. He was diagnosed with lymphoma on December 30th during a follow up visit from just the week before. It all happened so fast and I couldn't bear to record that part of his life. You understand.
Well, until next time. Go cuddle with your pooch.
"Dogs lives are too short. Their only fault really." Agnes Sligh Turnbull